Revenge at the homewrecker

If you would like to take revenge at the homewrecker, go to shesahomewrecker.com and upload a photo of the homewrecker and a story along with it. That’s a way to get revenge!!!!!!!

Let me know after you did it! Enjoy !! You have immediate results!!!fight

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Mistress stripped naked and beaten up

Mistress Stripped and Beat Up in China

 

 

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An alleged Chinese mistress is stripped naked and beaten in the street by a gang of women wearing stilettos. Her rivals, dressed in mini-skirts, shorts and high-heels, angrily stick the boot in as their victim writhes helplessly on the floor.

This took place in a shopping area in the middle of a city and the most amazing thing is not one person stepped in to stop the savage beating.

Passers-by either looked on or kept walking as at least three women laid into the victim with a fourth recording everything on a phone.

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1413210392559_Image_galleryImage_Pic_shows_Lin_Yao_Li_who_ Woman Accused of Cheating Stripped Naked And Beaten Woman Accused of Cheating Stripped Naked And BeatenWoman Accused of Cheating Stripped Naked And Beaten

 

Chinese mistress beaten up

Suspected Mistress In Lanzhou Stripped And Beaten In Public

A woman was stripped and beaten in public on Sunday morning in Lanzhou, Gansu province, just outside her residential compound, with her four-year-old daughter present. She was jumped by five women who were reportedly out to teach her a lesson for committing adultery. fight

The attack happened suddenly when the young mother and her little daughter were ready to enter the residential complex. Five women, among whom four were 30-something and one was about 50 years old, went directly to the young mother, fling abuses at and beat her up.

“Beat you bitch to death! How dare you commit adultery again!” the attackers were heard shouting at the poor mother, implying she was a mistress.

With more passers-by stopping to look on, the five attackers started to strip clothes off the alleged Xiaosan. Minutes later the victim was stripped nude in front of a large crowd of onlookers.

The assault reportedly lasted an hour, with the video above showing only the final few minutes.

Several private security guards of the residential complex were on the spot but they appeared to have tried to avoid trouble and done nothing to protect the young mother from being repeatedly beaten except helping the victim to hang her stripped clothes over her private areas.

What are your feelings about this story?

Jealous girlfriend killed love rival by cutting parachute

This is the dramatic footage showing the final moments of Els Van Doren, who was allegedly killed by a love rival by sabotaging her parachute.

It was played to a Belgian court in the trial of Els Clottemans who is accused of killing Els Van Doren, with whom she shared a passion for skydiving and a lover.

Clottemans, 26, denies the murder charges and accusations that she killed Van Doren to have the lover, Marcel Somers, to herself.

The case has captured the imagination of Belgians since Van Doren fell 13,000ft into a suburban garden in eastern Belgium after her parachute did not open on November 18, 2006.

Dive of death: Footage from Els Van Doren's camera taken moments before she was killed

Dive of death: Footage from Els Van Doren’s camera taken moments before she was killed

Els Clottemans
Els Van Doren

Els Clottemans (left) is accused of murdering her love rival Els Van Doren (right) after sabotaging her parachute

The pair are believed to have met the handsome Dutchman at their parachute club in Zwartberg.

A married mother-of-two and skydiving enthusiast, Van Doren had jumped from a plane with Clottemans, their Dutch lover and another skydiver.

Clottemans jumped a fraction too late and did not join in airborne stunts with the other three.

When the sign was given to open the parachutes, Van Doren struggled with the cords, before hurtling toward the ground.

Van Doren plunged to her death a fortnight after spending the night in her lover’s arms – while Clottemans was forced to sleep on the couch.

On the night which is alleged to have led to the murder, Van Doren was in Marcel’s flat when her rival showed up at the property.

Evidence in the form of a parachute and other skydiving equipment are pictured in the foreground of the courthouse in Tongeren, Belgium. Clottemans can be seen standing at the rear

 

Evidence in the form of a parachute and other skydiving equipment are pictured in the foreground of the courthouse in Tongeren, Belgium. Clottemans, in red, can be seen standing at the rear

Two weeks later, when Van Doren used it for the first time since the allegedly fateful night with Somers, she hurtled to the ground at a speed of 120mph and was killed instantly.

Her final moments were caught on film by her own head-mounted camera.

The trio had been due to perform tricks together in the sky, but Clottemans jumped a fraction too late and did not join the manouevres.

Clottemans became a prime suspect when she attempted suicide hours before she was due to make a second statement to police, a month after the incident.

Detectives claimed in 2005 that Clottemans sent anonymous letters to Van Doren’s husband, bombarded Somers with anonymous phone calls and once tried to kill herself.

In 2007, Clottemans told the Belgian media: ‘I always knew that I was number two for Marcel and that Els was number one. I never had a problem with this at the time as I had such a low image of myself that I could only ever imagine being number two.’

No hard evidence has surfaced so far to support the murder charge, but prosecutors hope circumstantial links will secure the conviction.

Chief defence lawyer Vic Van Aelst said prosecutors ‘have nothing’ to tie his client to the death.

‘They have to prove they have something, but they are trying to do it since four years and it is not going very well for them,’ he added.

Clottemans and Van Doren shared a passion for skydiving (file picture)

The pair are believed to have met the handsome Dutchman at their parachute club in Zwartberg. (File picture).

What do you think of this? Give us your input.

 

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The general and the skank

The Petraeus scandal: update

(L to R) Natalie Khawam, Gen. David Petraeus, Dr. Scott Kelley, Jill Kelley and Holly Petraeus, attend the Gasparilla parade on Jan. 30. 2010, in Tampa, Fla. Jill Kelley was identified as the woman who received threatening emails from the biographer of Gen. David Petraeus, Paula Broadwell, with whom he allegedly had an affair. (AP Photo/The Tampa Bay Times, Amu Scherzer)
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David Petraeus will plead guilty to providing his mistress and biographer with classified information, the Justice Department announced.

Though largely overshadowed by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s congressional address, Petraeus’s plea agreement — no jail time, two years probation, and a $40,000 fine — is the culmination of one of the biggest political scandals of the past decade.

Only a couple of years ago, anything involving the disgraced four-star general — who resigned from his position as CIA director in November 2012 after the FBI discovered he’d had an extramarital affair with the U.S. Army Intelligence Officer who wrote his biography — would  have been the leading news of the day. From his former biographer turned lover to the Florida socialite who helped uncover their affair to the FBI agent who became a little too involved in the case, the Petraeus scandal boasted a cast of characters befitting the real-life soap opera that it was. Yet the relatively little fanfare surrounding Petraeus’s plea deal Tuesday is perhaps proof of how quickly such scandals flame out once they’ve exploded.

In light of the latest news, though, it seems like a good time check in with Petraeus-gate’s major players and see what they’ve been up to since being relieved of the spotlight.

Paula Broadwell

Commander of the International Security Assistance Force (ISAF)/U.S. Forces in Afghanistan General David Petraeus shakes hands with author Paula Broadwell in this ISAF handout photo originally posted July 13, 2011. The FBI investigation that led to the discovery of CIA Director Petraeus' affair with Broadwell was sparked by suspicious emails from her to another woman and Petraeus was not the target of the probe, U.S. law enforcement and security officials told Reuters on November 10, 2012. (REUTERS/ISAF)<img alt=”Commander of the International Security Assistance Force (ISAF)/U.S. Forces in Afghanistan General David Petraeus shakes hands with author Paula Broadwell in this ISAF handout photo originally posted July 13, 2011. The FBI investigation that led to the discovery of CIA Director Petraeus' affair with Broadwell was sparked by suspicious emails from her to another woman and Petraeus was not the target of the probe, U.S. law enforcement and security officials told Reuters on November 10, 2012. (REUTERS/ISAF)” class=”Maw(100%)” src=”https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/vsZTaeMyKZzTu5X92K7Cog–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9MzEwO2lsPXBsYW5l/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/news/2013-12-05/f77eb241-2c63-40d5-b4c0-1f97a88ceb2c_YIRpetraeus.jpg”/>

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Commander of the International Security Assistance Force (ISAF)/U.S. Forces in Afghanistan General David Petraeus shakes hands with author Paula Broadwell in this ISAF handout photo originally posted July Her impressive resume includes accolades from West Point, the U.S. Army and Reserve, Harvard’s John F. Kennedy School of Government and the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force. But Paula Broadwell is perhaps best known to the public as the former lover of David Petraeus.

According to a January 2015 report in The Charlotte Observer, Broadwell had been lying low in the North Carolina city with her husband, Scott, and their two sons since her affair with the venerated general became public in 2012. Broadwell seemed to be successfully avoiding the scandal—which, at its most salacious, painted her as a jealous, cyberstalking ex-mistress — by working with returning veterans, consulting on leadership and global affairs and advocating for physical fitness programs in her community. That is, until the FBI and prosecutors with the Department of Justice called on Eric Holder to bring felony charges against Petraeus for sharing classified information with Broadwell while he was head of the CIA.

But even with her skeletons resurfacing in the news, Broadwell has remained intent on keeping a low profile, drawing attention to her causes  rather than to herself.

Jill Kelley

In the summer of 2012 Jill Kelley complained to a friend  in the FBI about a series of anonymous, harassing emails and launched the investigation that ultimately led the FBI to Paula Broadwell.

Often referred to as the Florida socialite at the center of the scandal, Kelley, forged friendships within the U.S. military’s upper echelons by throwing lavish parties at her Tampa mansion. But around the time the affair went public, the home where Kelley and husband Scott mingled with Petraeus and his ilk reportedly went into foreclosure.

Kelley’s finances weren’t the only thing to unravel in conjunction with the Petraeus scandal. In investigating Kelley’s cyberstalking claims, the FBI uncovered hundreds of other email exchanges between Kelley and other high-ranking officials, including Marine General James Mattis and Vice Adm. Robert Harward, U.S. Central Command’s  commander and deputy commander, respectively.

In 2013, Kelley sued both the Department of Defense and the FBI for leaking the contents of her emails — and her identity — to the press, claiming a violation of privacy. In September 2014, a federal judge ruled that Kelley could pursue her suit against the government.

John Allen

The U.S.’s top commander in Afghanistan, General John Allen had been nominated as the Supreme Allied Commander of NATO’s European forces before becoming implicated in the Petraeus fallout. Though the Department of Defense determined that there was nothing untoward about the occasionally flirtatious 30,000-plus pages of emails exchanged between Kelley and Allen, the general announced he’d forego the prestigious position and instead retire from the military to tend to his sick wife.

In this Nov. 13, 2012, file photo, Jill Kelley leaves her home in Tampa, Fla. U.S. District Judge Amy Berman Jackson says Jill Kelley can press her claim that the FBI and Defense Department violated her privacy when officials allegedly leaked information about her to the news media. Berman also tossed out more than a dozen other claims of government wrongdoing. (AP Photo/Chris O'Meara, File)<img alt=”In this Nov. 13, 2012, file photo, Jill Kelley leaves her home in Tampa, Fla. U.S. District Judge Amy Berman Jackson says Jill Kelley can press her claim that the FBI and Defense Department violated her privacy when officials allegedly leaked information about her to the news media. Berman also tossed out more than a dozen other claims of government wrongdoing. (AP Photo/Chris O'Meara, File)” class=”Maw(100%)” src=”https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/.kec2A_VkS2V_pJYpiiERA–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9MzEwO2lsPXBsYW5l/http://media.zenfs.com/en_us/News/ap_webfeeds/b60864f15818c8245f0f6a7067005d43.jpg”/>

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In this Nov. 13, 2012, file photo, Jill Kelley leaves her home in Tampa, Fla. U.S. District Judge Amy Berman Jackson says Jill Kelley can press her claim that the FBI and Defense Department violated her privacy when officials allegedly leaked information about her to the news media. Berman also tossed out more than a dozen other claims of government wrongdoing. (AP Photo/Chris O’Meara, File)
More  when officials allegedly leaked information about her to the news media. Berman also tossed out more than a dozen other claims of government wrongdoing. (AP Photo/Chris O’Meara, File)More

John Allen, US special presidential envoy for the global coalition to counter the Islamic State group, speaks during a press conference in Baghdad, Iraq, on January 14, 2015 (AFP Photo/Thaier al-Sudani)<img alt=”John Allen, US special presidential envoy for the global coalition to counter the Islamic State group, speaks during a press conference in Baghdad, Iraq, on January 14, 2015 (AFP Photo/Thaier al-Sudani)” class=”Maw(100%)” src=”https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/K9NQPwa4EO3wnjuS71.EPg–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9MzEwO2lsPXBsYW5l/http://media.zenfs.com/en_us/News/afp.com/72766948784417c6528ab1fe3aa25bdd09be1139.jpg”/>

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John Allen, US special presidential envoy for the global coalition to counter the Islamic State group, speaks during a press conference in Baghdad, Iraq, on January 14, 2015 (AFP Photo/Thaier al-Sudani)
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In September 2014, Secretary of State John Kerry selected Allen as the Special Presidential Envoy for the Global Coalition to Counter ISIL.

Frederick W. Humphries II

Humphries, an FBI agent whose previous accomplishments include foiling an al-Qaeda plot to bomb Los Angeles International Airport on New Year’s Eve 1999, launched the investigation that prompted the Petraeus scandal when his friend, Jill Kelley, complained she was being cyberstalked.

After referring Kelley’s complaint to the FBI’s cybercrimes unit, however, Humphries was barred from working on the investigation. His supervisors were concerned that Humphries seemed too personally invested in the case, partially because they’d recently discovered that the agent had sent shirtless photos of himself to Kelley.

After being excluded, Humphries complained to a member of Congress about the FBI’s handling of the case, complaints that eventually made their way back to the FBI’s top brass and landed Humphries under investigation by the Bureau’s Office of Professional Responsibility.  The New York Times identified Humphries in November 2012, but no updates on his investigation or career have been published in the media since.

David Petraeus

Before resigning from the CIA in disgrace, the retired general, once widely revered for his influential leadership in Iraq and Afghanistan, seemed on track for consideration for the U.S.’s highest political offices. Now, while slated to plead guilty to sharing highly classified journals with Broadwell, Petraeus has hardly been destroyed by his improprieties. In 2013, the wealthy New York private equity firm Kohlberg Kravis Roberts hired Petraeus to head up its new Global Institute. He has made the rounds as a public speaker and guest lecturer at universities such as Harvard, and he has maintained the support of political leaders in both parties. Not only did President Obama assert, in the wake of Petraeus’s retirement from the CIA, that there was no evidence indicating that he’d leaked information “that in any way would have had a negative impact on our national security,” but Republican Senator John McCain said Tuesday, “I hope that General Petraeus will continue to provide his outstanding service and leadership to our nation as he has throughout his distinguished career.”

Petraeus and his wife, Holly, are still together.

America's most prominent former military commander and spy chief, David Petraeus, pictured in Washington, DC, January 31, 2012, will plead guilty to illegally providing classified secrets to his mistress (AFP Photo/Karen Bleier)<img alt=”America's most prominent former military commander and spy chief, David Petraeus, pictured in Washington, DC, January 31, 2012, will plead guilty to illegally providing classified secrets to his mistress (AFP Photo/Karen Bleier)” class=”Maw(100%)” src=”https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/8wkUDmOBlP9S_pm3hJjS8Q–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9MzEwO2lsPXBsYW5l/http://media.zenfs.com/en_us/News/afp.com/Part-WAS-Was8893503-1-1-0.jpg”/>

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America’s most prominent former military commander and spy chief, David Petraeus, pictured in Washington, DC, January 31, 2012, will plead guilty to illegally providing classified secrets to his mistress (AFP Photo/Karen Bleier)
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We will see how this will further develop. What do you think about all this? What are your thoughts? What are your feelings and opinions?

How to trick your cheater husband

Writer Fay Weldon wrote a book The life & loves of a she devil. A remarkable book about how to trick a cheater husband. A beautiful story. A must read. The cheater fell in love and left the wife. For a more beautiful and richer one. Then the wife started to plot and plan. You have to read the book. Its worthed. Its highly recommendable. An revenge story. Let me know if you read it. And if you liked it.kus

One husband with three families, 2 secret families.

In Holland there is a man with three families. One real one and two secret ones. This mans name is Harry Mens. In Holland he is famous. He is in real estate. And on television with a program called business class. His first family has two daughters. They did not know for a long time that he did have a secret family. With in it also two daughters. Lately came out he had another secret family. He is rich and can allow these kind of things. He can provide them all with houses and food and cars. In Holland they don’t care because he provides good for them all. He doesnot neglect any of them. What do you think of this? Let me know.beddd .

triangulation as an art, conmen see it that way

threesFrom the Psychopath Free book, now available in Barnes & Noble stores everywhere and online at: http://Book.PsychopathFree.com

To draw you closer, narcissists & psychopaths create an aura of desirability—of being wanted and courted by many. It will become a point of vanity for you to be the preferred object of their attention, to win them away from a crowd of admirers. They manufacture the illusion of popularity by surrounding themselves with members of the opposite sex: friends, former lovers, and your eventual replacement. Then, they create triangles that stimulate rivalry and raise their perceived value. (Adapted from “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene).

A note before I continue: people fall in and out of love. People find new love, before and after relationships come to an end. People cheat on one another. This section is not about these everyday occurrences—no matter how heartbreaking and unfair they might be. Instead, I will be describing a very specific set of patterns and behaviors that psychopaths utilize in order to torture and control their targets.

Psychopaths, like most predators, seek power and control. They want to dominate their partners sexually, emotionally, and physically. They do this by exploiting vulnerabilities. This is why they love-bomb you with attention and flattery in the beginning of the relationship—because no matter how strong or confident you are, being in “love” makes you vulnerable by default. Psychopaths don’t need physical aggression to control you (although sometimes they do). Instead, relationships provide them with the perfect opportunity to consume you by manufacturing the illusion of love. This is why it’s so damaging when bystanders say: “Well, why didn’t you just leave?” You never entered a relationship with the psychopath expecting to be abused, belittled, and criticized—first, you were tricked into falling in love, which is the strongest human bond in the world. Psychopaths know this.

So how do psychopaths maintain such a powerful bond over their targets? One of their favorite methods is through triangulation. When I mention this term, survivors usually equate it with the next target, but that is not always the case. Psychopaths use triangulation on a regular basis to seem in “high-demand”, and to keep you obsessed with them at all times. This can occur with anyone:

1. Your family

2. Their family

3. Your friends

4. Their friends

5. Ex-partners

6. Partners-to-be

7. Complete strangers

The psychopath’s ability to groom others is unmatched. They feel an intense euphoria when they turn people against each other, especially when it’s over a competition for them. Psychopaths will manufacture situations to make you jealous and question their fidelity. In a normal relationship, people go out of their way to prove that they are trustworthy—but the psychopath does exactly the opposite. They are constantly suggesting that they might be pursuing other options, or spending time with other people, so that you can never settle down into a feeling of peace. And they will always deny this, calling you crazy for bringing it up.

The issue here is that you’re accustomed to such a high level of attention after they first lured you in, so it feels very personal & confusing when they direct that attention elsewhere. They know this. They’ll “forget” plans with you, and spend a few days with friends that they always complained about to you. They’ll ignore you to spend more time with their family, when they initially told you that they were all horrible people. They’ll seek sympathy from an ex when a member of their family dies, and explain that they just have a “special friendship” you wouldn’t understand. Often—if not always—that ex is someone they first claimed was abusive and unstable.

Seeking attention, sympathy and solace from people who are not you is a very common tactic of the psychopath. As an empathetic person, and as their partner, you rightfully feel that they should be seeking comfort in you. You’ve always healed them in the past, so what’s different now? They once claimed that they were a broken person, and that you were the reason they were happy again. But now, they turn to private friendships or past relationships that you could “never understand”. And they will always make sure to shove this in your face.

This brings me to the next topic: social media.

Technology makes it so much easier for psychopaths to manipulate through triangulation. It can be as simple as liking a comment from an old ex, while ignoring one from you. They will “accidentally” upload a photo album where they’re embracing the ex they once claimed to hate. Everything appears to be unintentional—you often attribute it to insensitivity—but make no mistake: it is carefully calculated.

They will post strategically ambiguous statuses, songs, and videos that suggest you might be “losing” them. They will share things that are intentionally meant to lure in new & old targets. For example, an inside joke with their new victim. Or the love song that they once shared with their ex. This does two things: it leaves you feeling unhinged, anxious, and jealous. But it also makes the competing party feel confident, loved, and special. They are grooming others as they erode your identity—two birds with one stone.

They want you to confront them about these things, because they are so seemingly minimal that you will appear crazy and jealous for bringing it up. They will calmly provide an excuse for everything and then blame you. Covert abuse is impossible to prove, because it’s always strategically ambiguous. You can’t prove that they’re luring in their ex because of a song they posted, but you know it intuitively. This is how they finalize the crazy-making. Because let’s be honest: complaining about Facebook statuses & comments does seem immature. That’s exactly how they want you to feel.

Psychopaths are also expertly skilled at surrounding themselves with givers—insecure people who find self-worth in taking care of others. This is why your giving seems so insignificant and replaceable during the relationship. They adore qualities in others who are nothing like you—sometimes even the exact opposite of you. The message is simple: you are no longer special. You are replaceable. If you don’t give them the worshipping they deserve, they’ll always have other sources. And even if you do give them positive energy, they’ll get bored of you eventually. They don’t need you. Their current round of fans will always spoil and admire them, making you believe that they truly must be a great person. But take a careful look around. You’ll notice that they all seem to have an unspoken misery about them.

The final triangulation happens when they make the decision to abandon you. This is when they’ll begin freely talking about how much this relationship is hurting them, and how they don’t know if they can deal with your behavior anymore. They will usually mention talking to a close friend about your relationship, going into details about how they both agreed that your relationship wasn’t healthy. In the meantime, they’ve been blatantly ignoring frantic messages from you. You’ll be sitting there wondering why they aren’t chatting with you about these concerns, considering it’s your relationship.

Well, the reason is that they’ve already made the decision to dump you—now they’re just torturing you. They only seek advice from people they know will agree with them. That “friend” they’re talking to is probably their next target.

After the breakup, they will openly brag about how happy they are with their new partner, where most normal people would feel very embarrassed and secretive about entering a new relationship so quickly. And even more surprising, they fully expect you to be happy for them. Otherwise you are bitter and jealous.

During this period, they make a post-dump assessment. If you grovel or beg, they are likely to find some value in your energy. They will be both disgusted and delighted by your behavior. If you lash out and begin uncovering their lies, they will do everything in their power to drive you to suicide. Even if you come back to them later with an apology, they will permanently despise any target who once dared talk back to them. You’ve seen too much—the predator behind the mask.

This is why they constantly wave their new partner in your face, posting pictures and declaring their happiness online. Proving how happy and perfect they are. It’s a final attempt to drive you insane with triangulation. To make you blame the new target, instead of the true abuser.

Exes who stay strung do not understand that they are puppets to the psychopath. Instead, they feel that they are fulfilling some sort of beautiful duty as a friend—someone who will always be there for them. They don’t understand that they are only kept around to spice things up when the psychopath becomes bored. They don’t see that they are the basis of so many fights—not because their friendship with the psychopath is special and enviable, but because the psychopath intentionally creates that drama. They are operating under the delusion that their friendship with the psychopath is brilliant, unique, and unprecedented. When in reality, they are just used for triangulation.

So how can you protect yourself from this devastating emotional abuse? First, you must learn self-respect. I will discuss this in more detail later on in the book. But the bottom line is, you need know what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in a relationship. You should know that a partner who cheats and antagonizes is not worth your time. You should never resort to calling yourself crazy in order to account for their extremely sketchy behavior. But that’s hard to do with subtle, covert, crazy-making abuse.

So here’s where I introduce “The Detective Rule”. The idea is simple: if you find yourself playing detective with someone, you remove them from your life immediately. Remember your Constant? Do you play detective with them? Do you cyberstalk their Facebook page and question their every intention? No, of course not. So you know the common denominator is external.

Even if this sense of distrust feels obscure and unreasonable, trust your gut. If you are constantly worrying or doubting your thoughts, it’s time to stop blaming yourself and start taking action.

Miraculously, every single time you remove that toxic person from your life, you will find that the anxiety subsides. Some of us are better at judging ourselves than others, so this finally gives you a chance to put that to use. You can decide whether or not you like the way you feel around someone. No one can ever tell you that your feelings are wrong. Remember the question: “How are you feeling today?” The answer is all that matters.

Triangulation leaves long-lasting emotional scars, and it makes you feel as if you are a jealous, needy, insecure monster. Start healing those scars and understand that they were manufactured. You were not yourself—you were manipulated. The real you is kind, loving, open-minded, and compassionate. Never question these things again.

triangulation in your marriage

Triangulating is abuse used by Narcissists, Cheaters, Con Artists, and Liars in a marriage.

The best way to get away with something is to deflect, divert, and emotionally manipulate if you are a person with no empathy or conscience. Learn how to protect your heart and your home from manipulators.
Dancing in the Gaslight by Victoria Summit
Dancing in the Gaslight by Victoria Summit

— There are ups and downs to every relationship. We all know that. However, there comes a point where there are so many ups and downs that you wonder if the roller coaster is ever going to stop.

When you’re in a relationship with a gaslighter, the real world slowly begins to fade away as lies and abuse take front and center.

Gaslighting is a form of mental and emotional abuse where the abuser delights in confusing his or her target. Some gaslighters do it just for fun, to see how far they can push their partners. Others gaslight their lovers because they are hiding a secret: an affair, gambling, drugs, alcohol, another family, or something else.

As your relationship goes on, even if you marry, you may one day realize that you’re in “competition” with a lot of people. You realize that your gaslighter compares you to exes, that suddenly an ex-wife’s opinion takes precedence over yours. He may set you up to fail with his children, making you look like a “bad guy” only because you don’ t know the truth about a situation because information was withheld.

Triangulation means you suddenly find yourself wondering why some online friend is more important than you are. Espeically when you’ve never met them or heard of them. Especially when you are “told” not to contact them. But if you try to contact them, you will look crazy. When you are caught in the web of triangulation, it’s difficult to complain about your situation because you’re in so deep that people wonder if you’re the problem.

Triangulation can be compared to a game of telephone, with the narcissist, (gaslighter) manipulating the game to send the message he or she desires. The gaslighter will purposely withhold information just to watch the sparks fly.

The goal of the gaslighter is to have you isolated from friends, family, children, step-children, exes, until your world revolves around only him or her. In your gut, in your heart, you know that something doesn’t feel right but you can’t put your finger on it. When you attempt to explain it, you sound crazy, even to yourself.

Victoria Summit has written the Gaslight Survivor Series to educate people of all ages about gaslighting, narcissists, con artists, and cheaters. There are signs to watch for in these cold-hearted predators. The key thing to remember that gaslighters thrive on kind-hearted, generous people who have it together, or seem to, especially if they have a great career or celebrity status or own property. The gaslighter loves to steal everything in sight from heart to home all the while lying and cheating, marrying, and often playing the perfect spouse, until he or she grows bored once more.

Gaslighters can be children, teenagers, parents, spouses, bosses, teachers, doctors, lawyers, judges, policemen, writers…In other words, anyone can be a gaslighter. Anyone can be gaslighted if the circumstances are just right. Don’t let it be you.

The Gaslight Survivor Series can be found in print and as ebooks in most online bookstores.

Dancing in the Gaslight

How Many Lies Are Too Many?

fiteee

Dancing in the Gaslight on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Dancing-Gaslight-Survivor-Victoria-

How Many Lies Are Too Many? on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Pathological-Narcissists-Artists-Ga…

triangulation, deceit by certain cheaters.

If you’ve fallen for a jerk, you may take some solace in the fact that you’re in good company. Even Hollywood stars and music icons, who have their pick among men, tend to go for bad guys. To mention just one of the latest scandals, LeAnn Rimes has left her husband, Dean Cheremet, for Eddie Cibrian, a man whom many describe as a “serial cheater”. This news caused a splash in 2009. It even led the editor of Shape Magazine to offer an apology to her readers for putting Rimes on the cover. Needless to say, LeAnn Rimes is no innocent victim. And yet, given the fact that Eddie Cibrian reportedly already cheated on her with his ex-wife and his ex-mistress, I predict that he’ll be the one to break her heart rather than the other way around.

For now, their blooming love affair appears all rosy. On Halloween last year, Eddie proposed to LeAnn as a prank, but recently they got married for real. The fact that she became obsessed with her looks, lost a lot of weight, and now looks anorexic seems like a very bad sign. However, still in the throes of the honeymoon phase, LeAnn has no time for regret. She states in an interview: “Nothing I’m going to say is going to change it. I do know that, and I have accepted that…but I do know how much I love him. So I’ve always said I don’t live my life with regret. I can’t.”

And yet, many women who leave decent partners for rakish lovers do, indeed, end up living with regret. What’s new gets old. After the initial conquest is over, the Casanova types quickly tire of their relationships and look elsewhere for new sexual thrills. Even giving in to their libertine lifestyle may not be enough. Speaking of  which, it seems like each of Charlie Sheen‘s “Goddesses” were eventually knocked off their pedestals, despite readily participating in his raunchy fantasies.

Psychopaths know how to identify each person’s specific weaknesses and vulnerabilities. If you’re okay with an open sexual relationship and look down upon the “bourgeois” notion of fidelity as too boring and conventional, don’t worry, the psychopath will identify other deliciously cruel ways to betray, hurt and punish you. After all, isn’t that what the libertine tradition is all about? Not just pleasure in itself, but pleasure through someone else’s dupery, misery and pain? Just take a look at Laclos and De Sade.

In fact, it’s worth rereading the eighteenth-century novel about psychopathic seduction after which I named my own book on the subject, Dangerous Liaisons, or at least seeing the excellent movie staring John Malkovich and Glenn Close. In a particularly poignant scene, whose image I’m including below, the psychopathic sex addict, Valmont, is writing love letters to one mistress on the naked back of another: a corruptible young woman he seduced and perverted very young, who relishes the perversion and colludes with him in his libertinage.

Predictably, she ends up destroyed as well. It’s not just sex psychopaths and other jerks want, nor just power. It’s power at the expense of another. For a disordered, control-driven individual, there’s no better way to exert power over others than through triangulation: flaunting new relationships to his ex’s; fostering enmity and jealousy among his various conquests.

Feeling flattered by the overflow of attention, newer targets often participate in these displays of cruelty, much like LeAnn Rimes willingly participated in a pretty disgusting PDA with her new husband Eddie, in front of his ex-wife, Brandi Glanville, according to this recent article in US Weekly Magazine:

As I’ve explained in my earlier post on manipulating women and turning them against each other , such ostentatious make-out sessions aren’t about affection or love. They’re about using current targets to rile up and hurt former targets. Without causing pain to others, psychopaths and other jerks don’t enjoy their control over women. They use new victims to rub salt on former victims’ wounds, just as they’ll use future victims to try to hurt them in turn.

Their logic is the same as the song How You Like Me Now? by The Heavy, which I used in this art video to showcase the photography of postromanticism, the art movement I started in 2002.

The logic of this song is triangulation: How do you like me now, that you know I cheated and replaced you? The sadist in the song flaunts the new “love” to the former girlfriend and asks her: Does that make you love me Baby? Does that make  you want me Baby? The obvious answer to such stupid questions from anyone who is not disordered is: NO. I like you even less. Or, if you prefer, I dislike you even more!

A psychopath can’t understand that it’s him you reject, so it doesn’t matter what other women (or men) he attracts and what he does with his life, professionally or personally. Nothing and nobody can make a person entirely deprived of human qualities and character look good. Triangulation can only expose further the depth of his depravity.

Even those women who, like LeAnn Rimes, buy the psychopath’s smear campaign about his ex’s and relish being the new partner in his latest triangulation don’t usually enjoy when they’re the target of the psychopath’s newest “love of his life” or “soulmate,” as the process inevitably starts all over again. A psychopathic seducer cannot be happy with anyone, not even with his most ardent defender and worshipper. It doesn’t matter how much she herself loves him; what’s most relevant is that he is constitutionally incapable of real love. Sooner or later, he’ll find ways to humiliate and hurt her as well, as he’s done to every other woman before her.

Believe it or not, you reap what you sow in life. Each target will eventually be stabbed in the back by yet another target, whom the psychopath will use to machinate against her. This pattern, which we see played out over and over again, leads me to ask the inevitable question: Why do so many women go for jerks? Here’s my top five reasons, off the top of my head:

1. Jerks tend to be very romantic at first. Much more so than nice guys. Jerks are impulsive, thrill-seeking and experienced in the art of seduction. They know just what to do and say to sweep women off their feet.

2.  Jerks are smooth liars. They know how to tell women what they want to hear. A nice guy may tell you quite honestly when you don’t look so hot or have gained a couple of pounds. A jerk, however, will usually flatter you as if you’re the best thing since sliced bread (but he’ll cut you down behind your back, to the other women he’s trying to impress).

3. Jerks tend to be hyper-sexual. All too often women equate sexual attraction with love. But remember, attachment doesn’t equal bonding. Just because a man wants to make love to you all the time doesn’t mean that he actually cares about you.  Besides, sexual passion rarely stays intense once the relationship transitions from an affair to marriage.

4. Women flatter and fool themselves. We really want to believe that we’re the exception that confirms the rule. Sure, the man I love may have cheated on his ex-wife and dozens of OTHER women, but he won’t cheat on ME. Why not? Because our relationship is that UNIQUE and because I’m that SPECIAL. Chances are: no, you’re not. What he did to others for you he’ll eventually do to you for others. Mark my words LeAnn Rimes! You’ll see this behavior in a few years (at most!), when he’ll be using someone new to hurt you just as he used you to hurt his former wife.

5. Women enjoy a challenge. Taming a player is kind of like riding a wild horse. It may be dangerous and cause anxiety, but it’s also very exciting. One thing to keep in mind is that, sadly, excitement is fleeting. Dealing with your partner’s constant lying, cheating and rationalizations for his bad behavior gets tedious, predictable and boring real fast. Far more boring, in fact, than interactions with men who have good character and emotional depth.

Because women don’t always have impeccable judgment when it comes to falling in love, it may be true that good guys finish last. But if you choose a jerk over a nice guy (or even over being single), you’ll be the one ending up last. My advice? Choose someone sweet because a relationship with a psychopathic jerk is bound to sour. 

 

Dangerous Liaisons: How to Identify and Escape from Psychopathic Seduction

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